When someone says the word ‘meditation,’ the first thought that may pop into your mind is some peaceful-looking person sitting cross-legged in a serene garden with their eyes closed, and a perma-half smile planted on their face. Total serenity, total bliss, total concentration, total…ly impossible? This is what I used to think meditation looked like. And for me, the scenario above wasn’t just fantastical – it was completely unattainable. I always felt like I was ‘too busy’ or ‘too distracted’ to be able to meditate. To me, meditation was this transcendent experience only achieved by the most disciplined and least human, humans. Don’t get me wrong – I was in awe of people who could meditate regularly, envious even. I want that peace! I want that bliss! Give me serenity!
Until one day I just did it (you will find that this is kind of a trend in my life – just doing things and hoping for the best), and it wasn’t anything like I imagined.
I was in my car, on my way to the grocery store with my toddler. She was chatting away in the backseat, and I was going through my mental checklist of what I needed to get at the store, what I needed to do after the store, what to cook for dinner, if I remembered to turn off my straightener (that happens a lot)…and then I just stopped. Not literally, I was driving. But I just stopped thinking about all the things that were coming down the pipe. It was this crystal clear realization that my brain was living several steps ahead of the here and now, and it didn’t need to. I could just focus on the present, the right in front of me, the immediate moment. And I started noticing the details of the moment – my breath, my heartbeat, my daughter’s voice. It was this overwhelming sense of calm. I didn’t say a mantra or pull over and get into a cross-legged position, but I did stay in that state of focus for a few minutes and I meditated.
And while we’re on the subject of stillness, you also don’t need to expect your mind to go blank. Deepak Chopra, meditation and consciousness expert (among many other things – seriously, look him up. He’s awesome.) says this about ‘perfect’ concentration in meditation: ‘…this nature of the mind to move from one thought to another is in fact the very basis of meditation. We don’t eliminate the tendency of the mind to jump from one thought to another. That’s not possible anyway. Rather, we make use of that tendency in order to give the mind a taste of what it’s really searching for—an experience of inner quietness and completeness. That’s the technique of meditating. Having lots of thoughts doesn’t disqualify you from meditating. Having thoughts is really the only precondition for meditating.’ Boom. So don’t put too much pressure on yourself. You’re supposed to have thoughts. You need them.
